Good sex works differently “: Sex therapist reveals pitfalls of lust
Jealousy and competitiveness make swingers clubs risky
It’s not just jealousy that drives cracks in the partnership. The comparison with the other’s sexual partners can also put a strain on the relationship meet indian ladies. "If a stranger triggers more passion in my partner than I can, it is hurtful, ”says Seikowski. The visit is only suitable for couples who have a very stable partnership in which both are equally looking for adventure. The expert is convinced that a visit to a swinger club cannot really save a relationship.
Do not pull out sex toys without warning
Seikowski believes that lingerie and sex toys are good for tingling hours. "It pays to be open to new ideas. Many couples benefit from it. However, one should not take the other by surprise. Find your way slowly, ”he advises and reports on a case in which a man suddenly gave his 50-year-old partner lingerie for her birthday. The idea of freshening up the love life backfired. The woman insinuated that her partner no longer found her attractive enough.
Sex toys should also not suddenly lie on the bed if you suspect that your partner might react skeptically. You feel better here. Younger men in particular often see real competition in a vibrator, for example. "If the man has the feeling that the electric penis pleases the woman more than he can, it often gnaws at his self-esteem, ”explains Seikowski.
Vibrators – the competition in bed
There are even studies that show that women mostly only use the vibrator on their own because men often have a problem with it. Older men, on the other hand, see sex toys more as a relief: "They are happy when they have a break, ”the expert knows.
"Watch porn ”
And what else helps the love game on the jumps? "Watch porn together, ”Seikowski advised. The expert is convinced that stimulating images enrich love play. It is best for the couple to choose the film together.
But it becomes critical when the man starts "to shoot his powder alone in front of the computer ”. It’s been proven that regular porn use can lead to some kind of addiction. The men always need tougher scenes to get going. "At some point your own partner can no longer keep up and it becomes a problem for the relationship, ”says Seikowski. "Then the only thing that helps is withdrawal from pornography. ”In general, the desire for each other grows again when both partners refrain from masturbation.
Thinking of others during sex is allowed
What if suddenly the desire for another body creeps into the relationship? Then it is perfectly okay to think of another person during sex. However, you should keep that to yourself, advises the sex therapist. He has often experienced in his professional practice that the "Thinking outside the box “sex is felt to be more fulfilled and satisfying again – from both sides. Then the desire for another sexual partner often vanishes again.
Take time for each other
And how does Seikowski stand on the subject "Date Sex ”? You can try that, he says. But to switch on the desire at the push of a button and, as agreed, to attack each other on Thursday evening, is usually not realistic. He advises couples to take longer breaks, for example over a weekend. That leaves enough space for common activities, closeness and pleasure. And when passion finally overwhelms the couple: "Just don’t leave the TV on unless you decide to watch porn, ”emphasizes the expert.
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But sex alone is not enough for a fulfilling partnership. In addition to the pure physicality, the feeling of connectedness is also important. It is important that both live their partnership and do a lot together. The shared experience not only welds together. "Proximity also produces eroticism, ”emphasizes the expert.
Every fourth person in a steady relationship is sexually frustrated. That is the result of a survey among 10,000 Internet users on behalf of ElitePartner. Married men over 30 were particularly dissatisfied.
Between the ages of 20 and 30, everything is usually okay in bed: 67 percent of the men and women in this age group surveyed stated that they were sexually satisfied in their relationship.
In the 30s, the fun in bed subsides
After the 30th birthday, the love life in the partnership apparently becomes more monotonous – and men suffer more than women. In their 30s, only 46 percent of men in a relationship and 53 percent of women are sexually satisfied. Every fourth man explicitly described himself as dissatisfied, in the case of married men it was even 28 percent.
Men may be less happy because eroticism is more important to them: three-quarters of respondents expect good sex from a relationship. However, only 64 percent of the women surveyed shared this expectation.
Lull in bed for every third couple
It is hardly surprising that people with a steady partner have sex significantly more often than singles. Almost half of all couples are sexually active at least once a week. However, in every third partnership there is slack in bed. That is, the couples have sex no more than once a month.
Every third single is sexually active
For the sex study, ElitePartner also interviewed singles. It turned out that one third of the singles are sexually active. Every fifth single man treats himself to an erotic adventure at least once a week and every fifth single woman has sex at least once a month.
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Sex education is not on the agenda in Indian schools. And words like vagina or penis are taboo. The desire for information on education, contraception and sexuality is therefore particularly high among young Indians. Fortunately, there is Dr. Watsa. The 91-year-old sex expert has his own column in "Mumbai Mirror". With expertise and humor he answers bizarre questions like "does a cut penis grow back?" and "Is lemon juice a contraceptive?"
Dr. Mahinder C. Watsa is sitting in his office on his wooden chair covered with raffia. Men and women send him heaps of letters and emails every day.
Sex Guru answers 65 to 70 emails a day
The questions he gets are often worried and confused, others boastful or influenced by superstition, often curious or even grotesque. Every day, Dr. Watsa 65 to 70 emails, plus handwritten letters, which he also parsed through.
Sexperte has been doing his job for over 60 years
"Can Overly Frequent Masturbation Reduce Penis Size?" became Dr. Watsa asked recently. "Does frequent use of your tongue reduce its size?" he asked back wittily. Another wanted to know: "I’ve heard that acidic substances can prevent pregnancy. Can I put a few drops of lemon or orange juice in my girlfriend’s vagina after intercourse?"
Dr. Watsa doesn’t laugh when he reads this out. At most a small sigh comes from his lips. Because the gynecologist and obstetrician has been answering these questions since the 1960s, only in one "Dear doctor"-Column, now in the daily column "Ask the sex expert" in the newspaper "Mumbai Mirror". The problems have changed little over the decades, says the 91-year-old. Again and again he has to start from scratch.
Talking openly about sex is a taboo in India
Because sex education does not exist in most schools in India, in many states it is even banned. Instead, delicate paraphrases are used.
If someone "sex" at dinner says, everyone at the table will certainly fall silent. "There is this belief in India that teenagers will have sex faster if they are educated" Dr. Watsa.
Stubborn sex morals and education through dirty jokes
Ketaki Chowkhani, who is writing her doctoral thesis on the subject of sex education and the sexuality of adolescents in Mumbai, also speaks of stubborn sexual morality. Sex before marriage is practiced, but judged disparagingly, she says. "If no one talks about it openly, many children initially only find out about sex through dirty jokes, swear words, nude photos and porn."
Masturbation and contraception: important issues for teenagers
Because social workers weren’t interested in the topic, doctors didn’t know about it, and schools weren’t allowed to, he tackled sex education himself, says Dr. Watsa. In 1976 he trained the first sex researchers in India.
For the non-governmental society for family planning (FPAI), he designed lessons outside the curriculum. "The youngsters want to talk about masturbation and contraception, they are eager to learn" says Kalpana Apte from FPAI.
Recite Sansrit verses for having children
"Can a woman get pregnant if semen is stored in a plastic bottle and then poured into her vagina?" was one of the questions to Dr. Watsa. Another inquisitive person was advised by an astrologer to recite ancient Indian Sanskrit verses while pulling on the penis. "If that helped, most men would have penises up to the knee" replied Dr. Watsa.
Another question: "After having sex four times a day, I feel weak the next day. I see black for about five minutes and I don’t see anything properly. Please help me." The answer: "What do you expect? Hurray and hero calls all over town?" Now, after 40,000 inquiries, he can tell if someone wants to poke him, says Dr. Watsa. Then instead of a good-natured answer, the questioner hears his sharp-tongued joke.
The end of my career is far from in sight
India’s Dr. Summer not. A few days ago his first book was published, "It’s normal!" (It’s normal), a collection of the darkest sex fears and pointed answers.
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Also, someone has just filed a lawsuit against him, he says. The accusation: it spoils the youth and is obscene. "But I’m 91 years old now, so I have a certificate from my doctor that I no longer have to go to court" he says mischievously.
Before you freeze the vegetables, you need to peel celeriac. Cleaning alone is not enough. Find out here how to get a grip on the often unwieldy tuber and how to store excess celeriac.
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Peel the celeriac Store properly
Peel celeriac: A lot helps a lot
If you want to peel a celeriac, you are usually faced with the question of where to start. The answer is very simple: Before you peel the celeriac, cut off the leaf base and the root remains at the bottom. In general, you shouldn’t be too frugal when peeling celeriac.
